Brutus (2) vs. Mo Willems; Cleary advances

Our pals at McKinsey tell us that “The business case for diversity, equity, and inclusion is stronger than ever,” and Jonathan makes a strong DEI case for the initialed contestant in yesterday’s competition:

Foyt was known as Indy car driver, but he won 7 NASCAR races as well, as well as LeMans. That’s the sort of diversity you’re looking for in a speaker, right?

Also, since he’s still alive, he might live longer than Beverly Cleary; in other words, her status as a long-lived famous person only probabilistically exceeds Foyt’s chances in a right-censored distribution sense, so her xomparison there needs to be discounted. And he’s one tough dude when it comes to longevity.

Also, as Kurtis Blow pointed out all those years ago, A. J. is cool. Don’t you love America, my favorite country?

But Ben then upset the applecart with an important revelation:

I was leaning Foyt for the racing stories. Racing seems like a thing of the past. There are so many cars around these days and I don’t wanna get run over by someone hotrodding! Listening to racing stories as some sort of nostalgia trip seems about right.

Then I learned Beverly Cleary authored the Mouse and the Motorcycle — a definitive autosports book! A. J. Foyt may be a real racer, but as a consumer I’m more interested in racing as a fantasy. Beverly Cleary has a better track record here.

Bev it is. It was A. J.’s misfortune to go up against one of the few other speaker candidates with motorsports experience.

Today’s matchup

The #2 traitor of all time—what can you say, dude’s an absolute legend!—up against the author of some modern classics of the kids-book genre, along with some real stinkers. (I’m looking at you, Elephant and Piggy!) It all comes down to two questions:
1. How do yo feel about regicide?
2. Will you let the pigeon drive the bus?
Let the strongest and most amusing arguments win!

Again, here are the announcement and the rules.

10 thoughts on “Brutus (2) vs. Mo Willems; Cleary advances

  1. Brutus is the Ohio State mascot. As I type this, they trail by 4 against Michigan. I invoke aleatoric uncertainty to let Brutus go through or not dependent on the outcome of his football team.

  2. Just thinking about Brutus’ seminar on the tu quoque fallacy revives one of my worst nightmares, the one where everyone is looking at me because I’m snoring loudly in the middle of a seminar.

    I confess that I ignore everything about Elephant & Piggy, but I guess the slides with the child-like drawings will keep me awake. And Willems can talk about many other things.

  3. Contemporary science weighs in:

    “Let the pigeon drive the bus: pigeons can plan future routes in a room” — Brett Gibson, Matthew Wilkinson & Debbie Kelly, *Animal Cognition* 15:379-391 (2012). Link

    From the Introduction: “In the beloved children’s book — ‘Don’t let the pigeon drive the bus!’ — a human bus driver pleads with the reader not to let a pigeon drive his bus while he takes a break (Williams 2003). On the one hand, the bus driver might have been concerned that the pigeon would not be able to safely drive the vehicle. On the other hand, maybe the driver was more concerned that the pigeon would not be able to take a route that would efficiently pick up all the passengers at the various stops throughout the city. … The task of determining an optimal route to several locations or nodes is called the traveling salesperson problem (TSP). … It remains unclear whether animals, other than non-human primates, are using rigid rule-based solutions when solving TSPs, or a more flexible solution…”

    Having written this, I now vote for Brutus.

    • I lean Brutus too. Mo has a fun video on there promoting a book about abstractions. It was neat, but there’s already a book and this video so I don’t need a seminar.

      A Brutus seminar could really add some color to what otherwise seems like a bland character. The Wikipedia articles on the assassination and Brutus himself make him sound like a bore. Copy-pasting from one section of the Brutus article:

      > The loan to Salamis was more complex: officially, the loan was made by two of Brutus’ friends, who requested repayment at 48 per cent per annum, which was far in excess of Cicero’s previously imposed interest cap of 12 per cent. The loan dated back to 56, shortly after Brutus returned to Rome from Cyprus.[41] Salamis had sent a delegation asking to borrow money, but under the lex Gabinia it was illegal for Romans to lend to provincials in the capital, but Brutus was able to find “friends” to loan this money on his behalf, which was approved under his influence in the senate.

      Maybe there’s a way he could retell his backstory and make this all sound cool. Or maybe this is representative of the trials and tribulations of Brutus and we all leave halfway through and don’t worry about it anymore.

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