Our second matchup of the season pitches the Secretary General versus the Dungeon Master. Gygax could bring the dragons, which would please any Game of Thrones fans in the audience, but Boutros-Ghali has some firepower to offer too. From wikipedia:
According to investigative journalist Linda Melvern, Boutros-Ghali approved a secret $26 million arms sale to the government of Rwanda in 1990 when he was foreign minister, the weapons stockpiled by the Hutu regime as part of the fairly public, long-term preparations for the subsequent genocide. He was serving as UN secretary-general when the killings occurred four years later.
It’s wargames vs. actual war, a high-school dropout vs. someone with a Ph.D. in international law. Give us your best arguments and we’ll decide!
Here are the announcement and the rules.
Yesterday’s matchup
My favorite comment came from turn_of_the_90s:
Fifteen years old and my mom always tuned to the soft rock station. Constant Craving played at least once an hour, boosted by the requirement to air Canadian content. I’ve heard that voice enough to last several life times. Enough. Please no more.
I kinda like the idea of “Canadian content” so this is actually making me favorable to Lang (I mean lang). Then there was this from Lloyd:
Tolkien could probably give an entire talk in Elvish and still captivate the entire room for the whole duration.
I don’t want to hear a talk in Elvish! But he might give a talk in Old English, which would be kinda cool.
But the deciding comment came from Jdk:
I would go with k.d. as someone who would give a real world and intriguing take on her subject. Tolkien, well his characters rarely ate and never went to the latrine, so if you want that kind of unearthly talk, go for it but doesn’t get my nod.
I really don’t feel like attending a talk that involves pooping, so it’ll have to be Tolkien who advances to the next round.
Also this from Manuel:
One does not simply walk into a seminar by J.R.R. Tolkien. The seminar room gates are guarded by more than just teaching assistants. There are university administrators there that do not sleep. The CCTV camera is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with projectors, chalk, and dust. The very expresso you bring from the machine is a poisonous brew. Not for ten thousand dollars could you do this. It is folly.
Sure, that’s forbidding. But, like Frodo, I feel up for the challenge.
“During the 1996 U.S. presidential campaign, Republican candidate Bob Dole made fun of Boutros-Ghali’s name, and Clinton decided to eliminate Boutros-Ghali to help in his own reelection bid.”
Gygax might have a funny name, but Boutros-Ghali managed to have a funny name that managed to spark a diplomatic incident pitting the US against the entire rest of the UN Security Council.
Don’t know much about them, but I bet you’ll hear stranger things in the Gygax one.
Shouldn’t you roll a die to decide this one?
Upon discovering B-B-G’s dad was simply Boutros Ghali it was disappointing to discover that the family didn’t continue the recursive theme and have a son called Boutros Boutros Boutros Ghali
Anon:
Really nothing stopping them from adding as many Boutroses as they want. Nor is there any limit on Ghalis, right?
Ghali was born in an actual Kingdom, which already makes him more fantastical that Gygax, who was born in Chicago. So Gary was beaten at his own game before it even began. Plus, according to numerous studies that surely border on the pseudoscientific, names early in the alphabet foretell future success. So Boutros beats Ernest, Boutros beats Gary, and Ghali beats Gygax.
Seriously we cannot have Tolkien v. Gygax in the next round. It’ll start a whole $#@! posting flame war among rival hordes of basement dwellers the likes of which internet nerd-dom has not seen since The Last Jedi. Let’s just save ourselves the pain and go with the impressive hyphenate of Global Peace Leader-Arms Dealer.
Ghali’s seminar would be halted by protestors for the reasons listed by other commentors. They might interrupt with a hilariously bad chant, though… (See the John McCain, Henry Kissinger, “Low-life scum” video).
Meanwhile, Gygax’s seminar would be halted because any question about his slides would require opening 15 other slide decks and doing a thorough comparison of their contents.
I have been to gaming conventions and can tell you that Gygax’s audience would probably not smell good. I have not been to the UN and can make no claims about its audience’s olfactory quality. However, I cannot imagine that it smells worse than day 4 of GenCon in Indianapolis.
In light of Tolkien winning the previous round, I will quote Gandalf: “If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose.” Ghali wins.
As the audience approaches the Tomb of Seminars, they come upon three doors with no indication what lies beyond. If they choose the first door, the ceiling collapses dealing 5 d12 damage to all, killing most instantly. Behind the second door, they will find an empty room, but they will die instantly if they do not leave before the DM counts to 10. Only the third door holds the seminar with E. Gary Gygax, who will congratulate them on their amazing intelligence for picking his door. But they have actually wandered into the worst fate of all. Not even 10000 die rolls can help them escape from this truly horrific boredom.
Boutros-Ghali all the way. Truth is stranger and more interesting than this kind of fiction.
Have you gone through a Gygax dungeon? He was merciless. He was D&D back when it was cruel and filled with death. He’s the OG.
Warren Zevon wrote a song about Philip Habib. He could have written about BBG, but he didn’t. Thats enough of a reason.