Skip to content

Albert Brooks vs. the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest; Jim Thorpe advances

Best argument yesterday came from Jonathan:

Thorpe was played in the movies by Burt Lancaster. Caesar was played by Joseph Bologna.

Ham vs bologna? Thorpe.

Also, Thorpewards.

Today the contest is between two people who, a commenter reminded us last round, both have names. Wit or creative eating? Your call.

Again, here are the rules and here’s the bracket:


  1. DanC says:

    Yuck. Of the 16 people who made it to this round, these are the only two I don’t want to see.

    I vote the hot dog guy, because Brook’s whiny persona drives me crazy, and I am always surprised when others don’t find him as obnoxious as I do.

  2. Jeff says:

    Does not the dude of Japanese descent
    Who won the eating contest have a name?
    He does, of course, but thanks to that event
    We ponder on the stuff of Nathan’s fame.

    What kind of man, in glint of morning, thinks
    “This day is for the dogs!” and furthermore
    To Coney Island fares to hit the links
    And fray with those who’d log a ‘furter more?

    A hellish course, presuming to be first,
    To hurry, facing brightest light of sun,
    But with no relish, he assumes the wurst:
    Extruded slurry! Casing! Nitrite! Bun!

    To hear his name, just call him on the phone,
    But all the same, he’s filled with parts unknown.

    • Martha (Smith) says:

      In my view, wins thread so far:

      “This day is for the dogs!”
      “To Coney Island fares to hit the links”
      “a ‘furter more”
      “with no relish, he assumes the wurst”
      “he’s filled with parts unknown”

      (and it rhymes!)

    • Jonathan (another one) says:

      Bravo. If we all have to write sonnets now, it’s clearly getting to the later rounds.

      • Jonathan (another one) says:

        So I had to write one for Brooks… Not as good as Jim, but the final couplet is pretty good.

        In Broadcast News he told us of “flop sweat.”
        In Real Life he disposed of docutrash.
        In Finding Nemo, kept from getting wet
        With Hagerty he lost his total stash.

        His science skills of course are quite suspect;
        Sure he’s no Einstein; wait I think he is.
        A whiny voice is no cause for neglect.
        Shlemiels are what he does — and he’s a whiz.

        Tales of SuperDave will yield some quotes;
        Fraternal reminiscences in store.
        And poppa’s Parkyakarkus’ anecdotes
        Will leave those there demanding much much more.

        Is he a hot dog? Sure he is. So tough.
        One hot dog in a seminar’s enough.

    • Jeff says:

      Glad you enjoyed it. In an instance of literal esprit de l’escalier, I was on the stairs on my way to bed when the title occurred to me:

      Dog-gone It
      (A Sonnet)

    • This is great. Favorite two lines: “But with no relish, he assumes the wurst: / Extruded slurry! Casing! Nitrite! Bun!”

Leave a Reply