I’m tinguely all over from having received this exclusive 5D invitation, and I just have to share it with all of you!

It’s a combination of art museum and shredder that’s eerily reminiscent of the Shreddergate exhibit at the Museum of Scholarly Misconduct.

Here’s the story:

You Are Invited: Media Event During Art Basel Week in Miami Live demonstration of groundbreaking new NFT technology by the engineers, alongside some of Miami’s leading artists. Two dates for the live presentations for the media: Thursday, Dec. 1 at 3:00 p.m. Friday, Dec. 2 at 3:00 p.m. At the Center for Visual Communication in Wynwood, 541 NW 27th Street in Miami. * * * Media RSVP is required at: https://www.eventbrite.com/** This is a private event for the news media, by invitation only, and is not open to the public. This media event will be presented at the location of the new exhibition “The Miami Creative Movement” featuring 15 of Miami’s leading artists. Media Contacts: ** & ** 305-**-** **@**.com – This will be the official launch of the new ** Machine, the first hardware-software architecture that creates a very detailed digital map of an artwork using a novel ultra-detailed 5D scanning technology. – They will transform physical artworks into NFTs in real time for the audience, via this new hardware device they invented. – The sublimated artworks will be uploaded to the blockchain live, in real-time, and will be showcased in an immersive VR environment at the event. – After the scanning is completed, a laser-shredder “sublimates” the object, erasing the physical artwork and minting a new NFT directly on the blockchain. The technology’s creator — ** — hails this as: “The first NFT-based technology that will allow artists and collectors to preserve works of art indefinitely in digital form, simply and without loss of information. Provenance is indisputable and traceable back to the original work of art to every brushstroke and minutiae detail.” “As this new hardware revolutionizes art conservation around the world and attracts many artists to Web3, it also adds legitimacy to real world art on blockchains, enabling them to be traded.” LIVE EVENT FOR THE MEDIA DURING ART BASEL WEEK IN MIAMI: ** Presents a Technology That Could Revolutionize NFTs and the World of Physical Art Forms ** – an Argentinian team of blockchain experts, technologists and artists, announces the official launch of the ** Machine, the first hardware-software architecture that creates a very detailed digital map of an artwork, using a novel ultra-detailed 5D scanning technology. After the scanning is completed, a laser-shredder “sublimates” the object, erasing the physical artwork and minting a new NFT directly on the blockchain. The technology’s creator hails this as the first NFT-based technology that will allow artists and collectors to preserve works of art indefinitely in digital form, simply and without loss of information. The new artwork transcends the physical work into the blockchain as a unique NFT that can be referenced to the original sublimated artwork, and to which provenance is indisputable and traceable back to the original work of art to every brushstroke and minutiae detail. Several artists have torn, burned, ripped and cut their artwork over the course of their careers. It is still possible for them to do it, but they will be able to preserve their artwork permanently on the blockchain. As the hardware revolutionizes art conservation around the world and attracts many artists to Web3, it also adds legitimacy to real world art on blockchains, enabling them to be traded. Artists who “burn” their paintings with the ** technology will get 85% of the revenue obtained from the newly created NFT and its addition to the most popular NFT marketplaces. The artist ** completing the process of physical destruction of his painting This process of creative destruction will be showcased for the news media during the week of Art Basel Miami at the Center for Visual Communication in Miami’s Wynwood Arts District. There will be a live demonstration for members of the press and the sublimated artworks uploaded to the blockchain will be showcased in the art gallery in an immerse VR environment. Argentina-based ** is a Web3 and Metaverse company dedicated to transferring the value of art to the digital world. The company was co-founded by **, **and **. **’s first product is the ** Machine, a technology that scans and laser cuts physical artworks to produce NFTs. Read more at **. You Are Invited: Media Event During Art Basel Week in Miami Live demonstration of groundbreaking new NFT technology by the engineers, alongside some of Miami’s leading artists. Two dates for the live presentations for the media: Thursday, Dec. 1 at 3:00 p.m. Friday, Dec. 2 at 3:00 p.m. At the Center for Visual Communication in Wynwood, 541 NW 27th Street in Miami. * * * Media RSVP is required at: https://www.eventbrite.com/** This is a private event for the news media, by invitation only, and is not open to the public. This media event will be presented at the location of the new exhibition “The Miami Creative Movement” featuring 15 of Miami’s leading artists. Media Contacts: ** & ** 305-***-**** **@**.com ** ** P.O. Box ** Miami Beach, FL 33239

“This is a private event for the news media, by invitation only, and is not open to the public.” . . . . wow, this makes me feel so important! There’s so much juicy stuff here, from the “5D scanning technology” onward. “This process of creative destruction” indeed. I’m assuming that anyone who showed up to this event was escorted there in a shiny new Hyperloop vehicle directly from their WeWork shared space. Unicorns all around!

But what’s with the “laser shredder”? Wouldn’t it be enough just to crumple up the original artwork and throw it in the trash?

It’s always fun to be on the inside of “a private event for the news media, by invitation only,” even if it’s not quite as impressive as the exclusive “non-transferable” invitation to hang out with Grover Norquist, Anne-Marie Slaughter, and a rabbi for a mere $16,846.

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