Zoom colloquium’s song

To the tune of Simon and Garfunkel’s Kathy’s Song. Inspired by Andrew’s talk advice from earlier and my comment that it’s especially hard to give virtual talks when you feel like you are between topics or methods or otherwise transitioning what kind of work you do but aren’t sure yet what’s next.

I hear the questions afterward
They miss the point of what I said
Like the last QA continuing
Threatening to delay my next meeting

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the zoom fullscreen
To email, where my next link lies

My mind’s distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie in talks I’ve yet to write
And give when you’re expecting slides

And the bullet I was writing is left undone
I don’t know why that slide’s still there
A deck I made yet can’t complete
With fonts that mix showing I don’t care

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I just presented as true
I’ll end it there without a summary
The only point I have is too new

And as I watch my deck go by
Each animation’s weary path to die
I know that I am like that slide
There but for what I can’t express go I

4 thoughts on “Zoom colloquium’s song

  1. Hello darkness, my old friend
    It’s animation time again
    Because the slide that I was making
    Left it clear that I was faking
    And the vision that is trapped inside my brain
    Can’t be explained
    And meets the sound of silence

    In restless dreams I stood alone
    Upon the wall, projection shone
    ‘Neath the halo of a bar graph
    I stuck a cat meme just for a cheap laugh
    When my eyes were stabbed by a flash of a real insight
    That split the night
    And touched the sound of silence

    And in the naked light I saw
    Sixty people, maybe more
    People texting without speaking
    People scrolling without seeing
    People asking “please, can you share your slides with me?
    They’re for my team.”
    Then gone back to the sound of silence

    “Fools,” said I, “you do not know
    Slideware like a cancer grows
    Hear my words that I might teach you
    Take these points that I might reach you”
    But my words, like a slow transition, waned
    And left their brains
    Lost in the sound of silence

    And the people grabbed their cups
    Their lanyards, too, for time was up
    And the screen flashed out its warning
    In the words that it was forming
    And the slide said “Lunch will be served at the end of the main concourse hall
    So thank you all”
    And left me in the sound of silence.

  2. Jessica:

    I’m almost certain that Paul Simon has no idea of this blog’s existence. And I’m pretty sure I don’t know anyone who knows Paul Simon. But I think it’s extremely likely that I know someone who knows someone who knows Paul Simon.

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