Skip to content

Riad Sattouf (1) vs. Pele; the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest advances

Lots of good arguments in favor of Bruce, but then this came from Noah:

Hot-dog-garbled speech from Kobayashi recounting disgusting stories about ingesting absurdly large numbers of unchewed sausages and wet buns vs the gravelly, dulcet tones of New Jersey’s answer to John Mellencamp telling touching, timeless tales of musical world tours? The Boss in a landslide.

New Jersey’s answer to John Mellencamp?? That doesn’t seem so great. I’ll have to go with J Storrs:

Aha! we’ve come down to a Roomba versus a goomba. After Springsteen rides his suicide machine, they’ll have to put him in a tomb-ah, where the dude would simply continue sucking up crumb-ahs. Either way he wins.

The Roomba it is. Sure, he’s no Bruce Springsteen. But, on the plus side, he’s not David Blaine either!

And now, for our other semifinal: the cartoonist or the footballer, who will it be?

Again, we’re trying to pick the best seminar speaker. Here are the rules and here’s the bracket:


  1. Re'el says:

    Hey, totally not related to this, but could offer any insight into this study: It seems like something we go back and forth on and this study didn’t offer any insight. Thanks.

  2. Dzhaughn says:

    Our GOAT scored with butt and with hoof
    But committed a political goof:
    He saw nothing the matter
    with electing Sepp Blatter
    So lets go for top drawer Sattouf.

    • Martha (Smith) says:

      Hey, for some of us, “hoof” doesn’t rhyme with “goof” (and, I assume, not with Sattouf either).
      (In case you’re wondering how we pronounce it: Use the “oo” that’s in “foot”, which rhymes with “put”)

      • Jeff says:

        When constructing a rhyme, you’re behooved
        To avoid the suggestion you’ve gooved,
        Or your readers will quibble
        O’er discordant sallyble
        And forget if you’ve Reied or Sattouved.

  3. Both Sattouf and Pelé have graphic novels (graphic non-fiction?) about their lives, Sattouf’s being autobiographical. This provides the only level playing field, as I’m sure Pelé would want, on which to compare them. The Pelé bio, which I have not read, gets 3.5 out of 5.0 stars on Goodreads, which is the lowest anything ever gets. (It’s rare to see any Goodreads average under 4.) Sattouf gets 4.0, and therefore wins. (Though 4.0 is a travesty; it deserves better.)

    • Andrew says:


      I was curious how Sattouf’s book could get anything less than a 5 out of 5, so I clicked through and read some of the reviews. Part of the problem may be that people were reading the book in translation, another problem is that some people reviewed volume 1 without seeming to realize that more of the story was coming . . . But the biggest issue, I think, was that L’Arabe du Futur can be upsetting, and some of the reviewers were reacting to this. I guess that makes sense, that if you read a book which, however funny, is full of sadness, that when it comes time to giving stars on a review, you might not feel so generous. Especially for a B.D. with goofy drawings, maybe people are expecting more of a good time. A feel-good romp it ain’t.

      Fortunately, when it comes to a seminar at the university, nobody’s expecting a feel-good romp.

  4. Thomas says:

    Sattouf (in Arab of the future): “A man has no roots. He has feet.” He has the footballer figured out.

    Whereas Pelé says things like “Success is not accident. It’s hard work…” Sounds like quite a seminar.

Leave a Reply