17 thoughts on “Jim Thorpe (1) vs. the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest

  1. Imagine Jim competing in a hot dog eating contest with the Japanese guy. Jim would win. Alternatively, if the Japanese guy competed against Jim in any sport that’s ever been played, well, Jim would win that too. Jim for the win!

  2. Of course the argument for Thorpe is that he does everything better. So, for whatever that’s worth he’ll eat more hotdogs and give better speeches.
    However, in this competition, Thorpe has met his match, because the masses want “The Japanese dude who won the hotdog eating contest” to speak! Let us consider the case study of “Boaty McBoatface”.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RRS_Sir_David_Attenborough (scroll down to naming poll)
    “Boaty” was the clear winner, but the British capitulated to their royalist tendencies, and overrode their naming competition when they realized they didn’t like what the populace wanted. But AG is an American, and democratic…
    The Japanese hotdog dude has the weight of popularity on his side (this far against all odds), the weight of hotdogs on his side, and the weight of a special talent no other seminar speaker has. Is that a bun, dog, and relish winning combo?
    Dinner seminar finale on the RRS Sir David Attenborough? Who’s buying hotdogs?

    • The rules here say implicitly that Andrew is not democratic. Only our wit and his whim count. He can do as he pleases, so your argument for the hot dog guy fails. Therefore Thorpe wins, unless Andrew rejects my conclusion as accepting the null hypothesis. Maybe my pointing out that potential objection can nullify it.

  3. Organizing TJDWWTHDEC’s seminar would be a bureaucratic nightmare of full disclosure to met the lingering suspicion that pharma companies are bankrolling it as a marketing ploy to sell antacids.

    • Also, consider that competitive eating is a more interesting sport than baseball, and requires more of both physical training and general athleticism.

  4. Some folks are questioning the prior probability of Jim Thorpe’s possible frankfurter prowess. A (not-so) casual google search of Jim Thorpe and hot dogs reveals:

    1. this blog post as the number two overall result
    2. a fascinating unresolved mid-90’s drama detailed in a three-part expose in the venerable Morning-Call newspaper on the feud between Jim Thorpe (the municipality) and a rambunctious hot dog vendor, which is easily equal to any Icelandic Edda on its viciousness and vindictiveness.

    July 20, 1994:
    “A Lansford hot dog vendor refuses to buy a $30-a-day permit ($50.95 in 2019 dollars) to sell wieners and refreshments in Jim Thorpe’s Asa Packer Park because he doesn’t believe the borough’s ordinance applies to him.” (editor’s note: in addition to his many athletic talents Jim Thorpe apparently contained entirely within himself a notable railroad baron)

    “Jim Thorpe Council’s interpretation of the 1992 law differs, however. And it has instructed the police department to cite Robert Leibensperger every day he slings weenies in the park without a vending permit.”

    Noted Liebensperger: “The whole idea of that (ordinance) is to keep people from coming into town and unloading a bunch of crap on people and beating feet. I’m not a transient huckster.”(editor’s note: Jim Thorpe himself excelled at beating feet, but was likewise, most definitely not a transient huckster).

    Unmoved by Liebensperger’s entirely cogent “I-ain’t-a-huckster” argument, Councilman Robert Sheehan accuses Liebensperger of being the aggressor who fired the first shots in “what locals have called the ‘wienie war’.” Sheehan layed down the gauntlet thusly: “We feel we have exhausted enough time on the legal questioning back and forth. Therefore, we basically are going to have him cited and have the court decide once and for all if he is under the jurisdiction of the vending ordinance. It’s the only fair way to handle it.”

    To which an undaunted Liebensperger declaimed: “Everybody thinks I’m making a bundle of money. They think Big Bob the Hot dog King down in Jim Thorpe is making a $1,000 a day. Even if I was, I wouldn’t pay the borough $30 a day, because they’re not entitled to it.”

    July 21, 1994:
    SHOTS FIRED! HOT DAMN DOG! THORPE CITES HOT DOG VENDOR WITHOUT A PERMIT!
    Liebensperger was cited twice, once for each of two days he was witness sling unsanctioned cased beef with relish. Each summary citation can carry a fine of up to $300 and 90 days in jail.

    July 27, 1994:
    Court Rules Against Big Bob the Hot Dog King Down in Jim Thorpe!

    Judge Richard Webb refuses to issue an injunction against Jim Thorpe’s implacable frankfurter enforcer’s, who continue to cite Liebensperger for hawking his hogs without the official blessing from our man-become-municipality Jim Thorpe.

    It turns out Liebensperger’s underaged underlings Lesley and Jamie Miller of Summit Hill are the persons actually named in the citation and are represented by attorney Michael “The Greek” Greek. Greek in arguing for a preliminary injunction claimed that the (patently unfair) ordinance in question “exempts ‘any manufacturer or producer in the sale of bread and bakery products, meat products or milk or milk products.’ The Greek added that the notorious wursts in question qualify because they “are specifically manufactured and produced using a formula devised [solely by Big Bob the Hot Dog King] The hot dogs cannot be purchased in a grocery store or meat warehouse. They can only be purchased at Leibensperger’s stand.” So there you have Liebensperger at last can only hide behind children and a tenuous claim to authenticity.

    Sadly the rest of the story disappears into the lacunae of the Lehigh Valley. Still the trend is clear. Jim Thorpe may not be a destroyer of worlds. But he is certainly the destroyer of hot dog vendors. And without a vendor, Kobayashi can’t display his talents. The japanese dude has been unmanned in advance by Jim Thorpe’s implacable bureaucrats. Bureaucrats trump sauerkrauts, and we march steadily Thropewards!

  5. The point of a seminar is to learn something new.

    We know a lot about Jim Thorpe, there are many biographies of him, there is a day named after him, and he is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Google gives over 14 million results.

    We do not even know the name of “the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest”, I am unaware of a biography of “the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest”, there is no “the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest” day, and google only references this blog when searching for “the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest”.

    Clearly, Andrew will learn more from “the Japanese dude who won the hot dog eating contest” as he doesn’t even know his name then from a famous figure like Jim Thorpe.

  6. A guy with a town named after him against a guy whose lack of a name (in this contest) is his main claim to fame. I say we invite Thorpe and reward Kobayashi by renaming Coney Island as Japanesedudewhowonthehotdogeatingcontest Island. The signs for the D,F,N and Q trains alone would make it worthwhile.

    I also remind Star Trek fans of the Kobayashi Maru test in the Wrath of Khan, which discusses how the only way to win is to cheat. Thorpe may have accepted pay for baseball while an amateur in every other sport, but he never cheated.

  7. TJDWWTHDEC is a one trick pony and the question you have to ask with all one trick ponies is ‘do I want to see that trick?’. Jim Thorpe is not a one trick pony, in fact this is what pretty much defines him as a GOAT. All of this horseplay suggests Thorpe to advance. TJDWWTHDEC could always be resurrected in a future contest in the one trick pony category along with Dr. Heimlich – what a potential match up.

  8. Since Jim Thorpe is top dog in whatever he tries his hand at, his demise is now inevitable.

    Plus, by rights, “Extruded slurry! casing! nitrite! bun!” is worth an automatic bye in the next round.

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