Scientific explanation of Panther defeat!

Roy’s comment on our recent post inspires me to reveal the true explanation underlying the Carolina team’s shocking Super Bowl loss.

The Panthers were primed during the previous week with elderly-themed words such as “bingo” and “Manning.” As well-established research has demonstrated, this caused Cam and the gang to move more slowly, hence all the sacks and difficulty scoring.

Your reaction to this explanation may be disbelief. The idea you should focus on, however, is that disbelief is not an option. You have no choice but to accept that the major conclusions are true.

7 thoughts on “Scientific explanation of Panther defeat!

  1. Andrew,

    Are you priming us to see if you can change how vexatious we are? Or is it just a week of threads dedicated to letting the regulars get out their inner-troll?

    If the former, I hope you have pre-registered your hypothesis and will estimate all data in a single, hierarchical model.

    If the latter, who is gonna top trolling a recent Nobel prize winner and another endowed chair about calculating the difference between date of survey and date of birth?

    I mean, to top that, someone would have to be, like, getting data and using it to try to disprove what the original investigators had posited. Trolling is one thing, but this escalation will just lead to a system that taken over by “research parasites.” Remember, Andrew: work symbiotically, not parasitically.

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