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Statistics Be

This modern statistics got me confused,
To tell you friends I’m quite unenthused.
This modern statistics got me confused,
To tell you friends I’m quite unenthused.

I like Pee Wee Fisher or the great Jerzy
But can’t make head nor tail of this Robby Tibsh’rani

With his
Oop-pop-a-da
Be-a-ba-du-la-be-plee
Ple-oobly-oobly-oobly-oobie
Chum-cheeree-a-bah
Oop-pop-a-dee-de-doom ah-ah!

Robby Tibsh’rani is the creator
Of this new style along in co with Hastie Trevor,
David Donoho, Efron Bradley –
They all indulge in this monstrosity

They take a random sample and a leave-one-out
Two ool-ya-koos and a half no doubt

Then
Oop-pop-a-da
Be-a-ba-du-la-be-plee
Ple-oobly-oobly-oobly-oobie
Chum-cheeree-a-bah
Oop-pop-a-dee-de-doom ah-ah!

The bootstrappers you see around
They all converse in a special tongue
Oracle and eel-ya-da
One means hello, the other ta ta.

They call a man a cat and a girl a chick,
And they’re up to all kinds of nonparametrics

With their
Oop-pop-a-da
Be-a-ba-du-la-be-plee
Ple-oobly-oobly-oobly-oobie
Chum-cheeree-a-bah
Oop-pop-a-dee-de-doom ah-ah!

In conclusion I must now say
The Stanford boys they know how to play
But that music is not for me
So take it back Mister Tibsh’rani

You better take it back to Sand Hill Road
With your high speed riffs and stacatto code

And your
Oop-pop-a-da
Be-a-ba-du-la-be-plee
Ple-oobly-oobly-oobly-oobie
Chum-cheeree-a-bah
Oop-pop-a-dee-de-doom ah-ah!
Ah-ah!

[Original here]

10 Comments

  1. numeric says:

    Have you come unzipped?

  2. John Mashey says:

    What do you have against Sand Hill Rd?
    Admittedly, the VCs no longer do soap box derby races there, but it’s still OK.

  3. Anonymous says:

    please, modern statistics can do better than lasso, loocv, and bootstrap and classical statistics should have done better than fisher =/

    otherwise it’s time to pack our bags and get computer science degrees.

  4. Andrew says:

    I just love that song and I couldn’t resist putting a statistical spin on it.

  5. Ben Bolker says:

    Can’t help posting this: it may still be under copyright (American Scientist 76:572-573 (1986)), but I haven’t been able to find it anywhere online whether paywall-protected or not.

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